~Hey Family! I pray you all had an amazingly blessed Thanksgiving! I must say I missed sharing with you all. Some updates about Beautiful. Passionate. Love. WE OWN OUR SITE!!! That’s right, now you can literally just type www.beautifulpassionatelove.com and start exploring! Also, I will be exploring and revamping the site so you will see some things changing… all for the better, I promise. Well, I guess we should jump right in… Indulge and enjoy. ~
As I shared 2 weeks ago, I’m starting therapy sessions. My first session will be wrapping up when this post comes out. So, I want to take this time to talk about how I feel about making this step…
If you read my last post your probably thinking, “You seemed confident so, what happen?” Well, when I wrote that post I didn’t even have my appointment scheduled yet! I was in the process of working with a Healthcare Advocate, a program my health insurance through my job offers, to see what therapists in my area were accepting new patients. So it was more a plan than an actuality. About 3 days after that post came out my Advocate called me back and shared a therapist would be calling me shortly.
Long story short due to my work schedule and the holiday we couldn’t schedule our first session until December 1st. Why does this matter? Having a week and a half to think about the first session has created a level of anxiety that has me trying to convince myself I don’t need therapy at all… It’s funny how that happens. We know exactly what needs to be done to fulfill a part of our destiny but then fear pops up and just like that stagnation becomes okay. But why?
Why do we allow fear to keep us bound? Why does fear have the right to determine our future? Why is fear the only emotion we refuse to address? I mean we question happiness, we fight against anger, we push through sadness, even curve hunger, but when it comes to fear, we give it the keys to the car and let it drive. Then we scream “You don’t put fear in my heart…” (I know some of yall remember that phrase.) Truth moment? You fear yourself ! You won’t address your own fears, because you’re literally afraid of fear.
Now, you all should know at this point, I only speak from a place of experience so, please don’t feel attacked or judged. Relating to what I’m talking about doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything, it means you need to do some soul searching to begin locating the root cause of your fear. It’s up to you to decide if you are ready to address your true fears and walk in your true purpose. What we offer this world is difficult to grasp when fear is our ruler.
For me, Beautiful. Passionate. Love. was fear’s eviction notice from my life. Therapy is the eviction process! But, what you may not know is sometimes evictions can take a really long time to complete. THEN, after the eviction is completed there’s the cleanup process. I say this to make it clear that there is work that has to be done. I know that therapy will have to be a consistent part of my journey for at least the next year, I have mentally made the commitment and I’m determined to see it through.
By now, I’m probably walking out of my first session. I could be extremely satisfied with my new therapist or, I may want to punch her in the face and never go back. I am giving myself permission to feel whatever emotions I feel, however, I do not have the right to abort this mission! Regardless of how I feel, I challenge myself to schedule a second session. I’ll let you know how it went next week, but for now, tell me is fear steering you?
Remember that everyone has a different growth schedule. I don’t grow at your pace and you don’t grow at mine. Also, the only person that can tell your story is you!
You know what to do from here! Feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section. Don’t forget to like us on Facebook!
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I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.
2 thoughts on “Hello Fear”
Not sure if it’s the fear that makes me feel like not saying it’s steering me
But I guess it is lol
Hope your therapy sessions turn out great thanks for sharing💖✨
Welcome to the Family. You make a great point! I felt the same way for a long time. Thank you so much for embarking on this journey with me! See you soon! -Alyshia-Mae