Just One Of Them Days

~Beautiful People! Goodness, I’ve missed you all! I pray this week exposed a flaw in you, that once corrected will thrust you into your purpose! I pray when this flaw is revealed to you, you have a moment of praise, the pieces of your future align! Pretty specific, huh? Well, ya’ll should know by now, I only talk about what I know! So, are we ready to explore? Indulge & Enjoy!!~

Okay, so let’s be real, self-reflection and self-improvement aren’t always fun. These last two weeks have been very difficult. Guess what though. I MADE IT! Yes, there were several bumps in the road, and I would have to say Wednesday contained the largest bump of them all. I mean, keeping transparency, sadness confound me in all aspects of life.

Long story long, I was very short, conversation wise, with everyone at work for the entire day. Halfway through, an incident concerning a client arose, forcing me to have no choice but to work with a coworker. Not a problem, we’ll just resolve the client’s issue and move on with our workday, right? Psh, I wish!

So, My coworker starts asking me questions, pertaining to the client. And then, her Team Lead jumped in, in an attempt to assist us. Also, her colleague chimes in. Not a problem, we all have one goal in mind, operation “Assist the Client” is in full effect. That is until my emotions took over, and I unnecessarily felt overwhelmed and attacked.

Because I already knew I was in a very emotional space, I decided to walk away from the conversation entirely. The problem with walking away, for me is, I wear ALL of my emotions on my face. Everyone can tell when I’m high or low emotionally (I’m working on changing this).

Wrapping up this story, as I walked away, I heard one of the three women express her opinion of me having a bad attitude. While she’s most certainly entitled to her opinion, I became even more frustrated in knowing my sadness was being translated into anger.

So now I feel the need to explain myself. I type up a message to the original person I was speaking with, apologizing if the interaction was disrespectful. I also, expressed, I was having a really rough day emotionally. She didn’t respond…

My day became even more difficult, resulting in me crying, twice, in the middle of my workday. After talking with my manager, who understood I was just having a one-off day. I realized one of my greatest flaws is the need to explain myself.

You see, the desire to want to over-explain oneself often comes from the desire of wanting to be liked by everyone. (Guilty!) Wanting to be liked by everyone, often comes from a spirit of rejection. (Also guilty!) And, the spirit of rejection usually stems from low self-esteem. (Hold up! This one isn’t me! Not anymore at least!!)

I’ve said it before, insecurities never fully go away! So, yes, while I am fully aware of how beautiful and valuable I am to the world, I will still have days or moments throughout a day where I won’t be so sure of either. This doesn’t mean I have low self-esteem, it simply means I’m having a rough day. And, I don’t have to explain why I’m having a rough day!

Now, your rough days do not give you permission to ruin the days of those around you. There are three things I did correctly Wednesday, recognized I was having a rough day and distance myself from everyone. Also, in my unnecessary explanation, I apologized, realizing I may have come across disrespectful. Truth, I didn’t have to apologize…

As life happens, these days will arise. Remember, the only person you owe anything to is YOURSELF!

Give yourself time…

Give yourself attention…

Give yourself love…

Give yourself space…

Give permission to feel how you feel…

But, when its all said and done, brush yourself off and remember YOUR VALUE!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

2 thoughts on “Just One Of Them Days

  1. I absolutely love this! Went through the same thing in the past few days! What a blessing it is to recognize when you truly aren’t yourself. An even greater blessing that we even have the opportunity to evaluate and fix it.

    1. Hello Chardoneè! Welcome to the B.P.L. Family!! So true, it’s definitely a blessing to recognize both! Feel free to explore and share what you’ve learned while journeying with us!!

      See you soon!
      -Alyshia-Mae

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