~ What’s new B.P.L. family? I pray this week gave you the energy boost you need to finish this month strong! As for me? Well, this week I was feeling pretty poetic so I want to share this piece I started. It’s been a while since I’ve done poetry, I think I like where I’m going with it though! Well, let’s dive in! Indulge and Enjoy!~
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Battle of the Sexes
He didn’t fight for me…
He walked away…
He didn’t come back for me…
He walked away, chose not to stay…
…
She took care of me…
She sacrificed so much…
She instilled values in me…
She sacrificed so much, no financial crutch…
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She guided me…
I’m lost…
She fed me…
I’m empty…
…
He prayed for me…
I’m desperate…
He searched for me…
I’m right here…
…
She disciplined me…
He wasn’t there…
She, at times, put too much on me…
He’s unaware…
…
I love them both…
My heart will forever be theirs…
I finally see growth…
My destiny’s looking brighter…
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I’m not exactly sure why all of this was stirring within me this week. I’ve been hard on myself lately. Forcing myself to not look back on decisions I’ve made with my best interest in mind. I know it’s easy to blame your decisions on your childhood.
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“My Dad wasn’t in my life…”
“My relationship with my Mom is strenuous or desiccating…”
“I’ve always been the ‘black sheep’ of the family…”
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Allow me to be very clear, THERE IS NO EXCUSE, GRAND ENOUGH, TO GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO ABANDON YOUR DESTINY.
Stop believing the hype media tells you, regarding being a product of your environment. Stop forcing yourself to conform to the way of the world. You don’t fit in? Awesome, your destiny calls for you to stand out. Wear your differences proudly! Stand tall in the very features the world tells you are flaws. If it makes you happy, laugh! Who cares if you’re the only one laughing?
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Let’s do this transparency thing we love so much. If you’ve been exploring with me since the beginning, then you know my father wasn’t in my life until about 10 years ago. You also know, a little bit, about my relationship with my mother (it’s been tough).
According to media/stereotypes, I should be a single mother with multiple children and the number of “baby daddies” to match. I should hate the world and be full of revenge and regret. Beautiful. Passionate. Love. shouldn’t exist. Well, it could exist, but I’m not supposed to be the author. Why? Because it’s too positive for what the world expects me to be. Guess what though. Next month will be a year since we’ve been exploring together!
I defy the odds of my upbringing on a daily basis and I will continue to do so. I used to hate being so different, not fitting the mold. I was “too saved” for my unsaved friends, and “not saved enough” for my saved friends. Not edgy enough for my “hood friends,” and “too edgy” for my suburban friends. Instead of changing me, I changed my environment. The ones who thought I wasn’t good enough for them were right. So, I let them go. LOOK AT ME NOW!
I’ve said all this to say, every experience you’ve been through is what makes you who you are today. If you genuinely don’t like who you are, figure out why and make the needed changes. However, if you don’t like who you are because you’re different… I pray a season of seclusion surrounds you, that you may not only learn to love who you are but also, see how your differences apply to your destiny. I love yall!
As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.
(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)
I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.
Beautiful. Passionate. Love. 