February’s Favorite Moment

Hey Family! Can y’all believe we are already wrapping up the 4th week of February? I mean, this year is flying by! This week is supposed to be a recap of the month, but honestly, I’m not in the mood for a recap.

Don’t get me wrong, February has been beautiful. I just don’t particularly feel like reciting all the blessings the month has showered on me. So, instead, I want to share what’s on my heart. Let’s explore. Indulge & Enjoy!!

This month I have met/reconnected with some interesting people. I’ve had some amazing activities transpire. And, I’ve had some wonderful conversations (at work and just out and about). One of my favorite conversations came from a series of text messages.

Here I am, at work passing the time asking questions to someone I’ve actually known for years, but just recently reconnected with. It became fun because they actually seemed genuine in what my answers were. See, most people enjoy talking about themselves, therefore, when you ask them a question they never give you a chance to answer that question. This conversation was entirely different.

After a series of questions, I decided to ask them what their idea of a perfect day would be. They gave me two scenarios, which were both really dope. But then, I was asked to answer the question… Check-out what came to mind…

My perfect day would be waking up, in my husband’s arms, to our children rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. As I try to get out of bed, without waking him, he pulls me closer and kisses me on the back of my neck. I giggle, telling him I have to check on our babies and he says something slick like “I’m trying to check on my baby, but she won’t be still…” we tease each other back and forth for a little, then I get up and take care of the little ones.

I cook breakfast and begin to make plates. But, instead of eating at the kitchen table, the kids decide Daddy should have breakfast in bed. So, we go wake him up, and sit in bed while eating blueberry pancakes, bacon, eggs, grits, and fruit. Of course, the kids made a mess but no one yells no one is upset we just enjoy our family time.

Finally, we’re up dressed and ready to start our day of exploring. We take the kids to a museum or the zoo and take what feels like a billion pictures to add to our photo albums. Once the kids are exhausted, we take them to their grandparents’ house so mommy and daddy can have some quality time together.

Hubby decides he wants to go out so we go home and get fancy on ‘em. I slip on a little black dress (skin glowing). Looking through the closet for the perfect shoes, I decide on some red pumps. As I’m standing in the mirror admiring my outfit and flawless makeup, my husband walks up behind me… Wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissing my neck, he whispers in my ear how beautiful I am. As I feel him raising my already short dress, I know our plans have changed… We never made it to our destination…

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

A Love Letter (Third)

Happy Black History Month! Happy National Love Month! Happy whatever you may be celebrating month! Regardless of what this month means to you, enjoy it! Life is entirely too short to be unhappy!

This month, forget all the negative voices, replaying in your head, and do what makes you happy! Welcome to our first official Creative Writing journey! This week, I want to focus on the love this month represents, for most, and write a love letter. Let’s explore. Indulge & Enjoy!

Hey You,

There are so many things I want to say to you, I just don’t have the words. Usually, when I write to you, the words flow from my soul, like rain falling in Spring. But, this time it seems like Spring in California. A feeling of nervousness has washed over me. Uncertainty is attempting to cancel out the security, thoughts of you bring me.

I’ve made so many mistakes, in my past, and though I’ve forgiven myself (and I know the Father has forgiven me also), thoughts of you knowing the WHOLE truth have consumed me lately. Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re a very understanding loving man, yet, I also know I’m going to have quite a bit of explaining to do.

I fear some of the events in my past will cause us to have serious doubts about walking down the aisle. I think about our marriage counseling sessions, and see the pain in your eyes as I tell you about moments I’ve never said out loud. As you begin to cry, my heart breaks, fearing you will call the wedding off and walk away from me completely. But, there’s still more to tell you.

You see, as your wife, I never want to put you in a shameful situation. I never want someone to be able to tell you about me. So, while sharing the most intimate details of my sex life may be breaking your heart, at least you’re hearing them from me.

I said all of this to say, I can’t change the choices of my past, however, every day I’m doing the work in preparation of being the perfect wife for you (Please realize, I did not say I would be the perfect wife.). I will never stop working to better us in all aspects of our lives.

I guess I used all these words to say, I’m writing this letter feeling unqualified to be your wife. What I know is, unlike our love for one another, this feeling is temporary.

I love you.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

A Love Letter (Second)

~Hey Hey! I pray this week has brought you clarity regarding the next path in your journey. (It did just that for me!) I really don’t want to talk about what happened though. I’d rather share what’s been on my heart. Ready to explore? Awesome! Indulge and Enjoy!~

Dear Future Husband,

Thank you, for an amazing night! After the week I’ve had, yesterday’s date night was a perfect surprise. I mean, there were so many roses! And what was the scent of that candle? (We definitely have to buy more of those). It’s funny to see the look on your face when the little things you do amaze me. Almost, as if you expect me to want more from you. But yet, you know me so well!

Between our work schedules, lately, we haven’t had much time to just enjoy one another’s company. A tub full of bubbles and a bottle (or two) of wine was the perfect way to do just that! Being around family and friends is always beautiful, however, I love my time spent with you and only you. You know, like when I can’t sleep. So, you hold me tight, my head on your chest, and tell me your plans for our family. I slowly start to drift to sleep, as your fingers tangle my already coiled hair…

Okay, so maybe this was just a dream. Maybe, the only joys pulling me through this week have been, my love for God, and my love for you. It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. I just need you to know, your visits in my dreams keep me grounded in preparing for our future.

Thoughts of you, fill my soul with joy beyond words. It’s as if you know just the right face to make to calm my forever racing mind. You know just how tight to hug me, to reassure my sense of security. And, you know just the right time to fill my ears, and heart, with prayers reminding me where our strength comes from.

Dreams of you balance me. They force me to remember, I will be perfectly yoked for the right man. They forced me to continue to push myself in all aspects of life. Most of all, they remind me to keep God at the center of all the things I desire, including you.

I use to believe, there was only one true love for everyone in the world, but, not anymore. What I now believe is, out of all the humans on earth, we choose the one we are most compatible with. We pray we’re choosing someone we can grow old with, in hopes of forming true love.

My handsome husband, you will not be my first love. You will not be my first kiss. You will not be the man who takes my virginity. But, what I want you to always remember is, you hold so much more than any of those men.

You are my perfect match. You are my swipe right. You are my fish out of plenty. You are the Christian I choose to mingle with. You are the One I choose to pour into, as you choose to pour into me. You are my forever love…

I love you,

Your Wife

As you’ve explored this journey, I pray, you remember how promising your future is. No matter your relationship status (single, divorced, or widowed) you’re special someone is patiently waiting for your paths to cross.

Remember to prepare yourselves for a love like no other. For a love, only God can ordain. For a love, greater than you could ever imagine!

I love y’all!

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

A Love Letter (First)

~ Hey Hey Family! Before we do anything, I need to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER!! This post isn’t about her, however, I definitely have to give a shutout to my biggest supporter. Mommy, I love you and pray this birthday is magical! Thank you, for always supporting me in all I do.

Alright, back to our journey, I pray this week left you at perfect peace with the events of your past! For me, this week has been… well, futuristically romantic is the only way I can think to explain it… Anywho, I’m so excited to share with you!! Are you ready to explore together? Let’s dive in! Indulge and Enjoy!! ~

Dear Husband,

As I sit and think of you, I am forced to think about the “boyfriends” I’ve tried to force in your place. Sorrowed fills my heart, at the thought of giving up on you for the instant gratification of what this generation calls love. I’m embarrassed at how impatient I’ve been. I’m terrified by how careless and vein I’ve become. And, I owe you an apology…

First, allow me to apologize for pushing us further apart. I’ve allowed us to remain strangers, by operating in fear. Out of selfishness, I refused to properly prepare for you. Loneliness became my excuse for not working on me. Fatherlessness, became the crutch explaining the men I choose to give myself to, knowing they would never compare to you.

Next, I need to apologize for not loving myself the way you love me. Randomly throughout my life, when at my lowest moments, I feel a wave of love shower over me. I know it’s you praying for me. I know it’s you begging got to show me how much you love me. And, I know you’re asking God to reveal me to you. I also know, God is explaining to you, “She’s not ready yet, my son.”

I want to apologize for my lack of prayer for you. In the chaotic world we are forced to live in, we need as many believers praying for us as possible. As your future best friend and wife, I should be lifting you up before God daily. I should be praying for your strength in God to live out your destiny. And praying, somewhere soon in your destiny, you’ll be led to me.

I want you to know, I have been working on me for some time now. I’ve been learning how to love me, all of me. By learning to love me, I can now begin loving you. I cherish the process I’m in because I know we’re being pulled closer together. And, if this letter finds you in sadness, heartbreak, or disarray, I’m asking you to smile. Smile knowing this is simply a valley in the journey that will, one day soon, unite you and me.

Until we meet, know I sincerely love you,

Signed: Your partner in Christ

Your future best friend,

Your biggest supporter,

Your Wife…

Marriage is a commitment I’ve wanted since I was a child. Call me old school, however, I don’t plan on having children until after I’m married. What I don’t believe is, my husband will make me whole. God is the only being that can complete me. My husband, however, he will make me stronger in Christ. He will enhance my strengths, and except my flaws while helping me to become an even better woman of God. And, I will do the same for him.

Start praying for your future spouse, the same emotions you deal with are the same ones he/she is going through. The longer we sit in our mess, the further we become from our spouse. Stop cheating yourself and your future spouse…

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new post will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.