Staying True

~Happy December Family!!! It’s the last month of the year! I pray this month provides you with closure on the good, the bad, and the ugly of this year. As for me, well I’m praying the same prayer for myself!

This week, I want to explore Beautiful. Passionate. Love.! This won’t be a super long journey, however, I feel inclined to address a few things moving into 2020. Ready to explore? Let’s dive in… Indulge and Enjoy!!~

First, I want to say this space is my baby! Our journeys are therapy for me. One thing I’ve realized, within the last few weeks is, once I started sharing my faith, and allowing God to be visible on our journeys, I’ve lost a lot of views. So, I want to address this…

Beautiful. Passionate. Love. exist because God gave me a voice and a platform. When we first started exploring, I was afraid to openly discuss my faith because I wanted this to be a safe/free environment for everyone. I realized, within our first year together, if I continue to exclude my faith I would lose my transparency…

Yes, as you know, I’ve made a multitude of mistakes throughout my life, and continue to make mistakes daily (we’re all human). We all need something to give us strength from day today. For me, it’s my faith. Without my faith, I am no one. Without my faith I am voiceless.

I said all of this to say… MY FAITH is not leaving this journey!! I love and respect all of you, however, this space was created on transparency and me keeping it real. I will never intentionally disrespect anyone’s religious beliefs, but I will also never intentionally compromise my own.

Some of you may be asking, “Why is she saying this?” Well, mainly it’s because God had been dealing with me, this week. Because my views have been low I thought about embellishing our journeys to make them more “interesting.”

As I write this, I’m so glad I choose not to do so. Transparency… will remain key in our journeys. Honesty… will continue to lead us on our journeys. Committed… I will remain to Beautiful. Passionate. Love.! Numbers… will never define this space…

Sometimes, you have to remind yourself of your why. I think this week’s journey is more for me than it is you. You see, when you compromise your character for attention (good or bad), it changes you.

Have you ever thought about how life-altering lies are? I mean, once you tell a lie, you have to keep up that story, in order to convince everyone. Think about it, if I tell you I’m sad with a huge smile on my face, you aren’t even going to ask what’s wrong. But, if I’m crying when I say it, you’re automatically intrigued to want to know more.

Now that you’re intrigued, if I don’t have a captivating story to tell you, you won’t care. So, I make up one to tell you… Now, I have to make sure to tell everyone around me the same story and pray none fact checks the details.

I don’t know about you, but lying or embellishing is too much work for me. I’d rather be myself and attract genuine, loving, people who deserve my time and energy.

This week I’ve come to realize, now more than ever…

I’M ENOUGH JUST AS I AM!

&

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE!!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE

Thy Will Be Done

~What’s up family! I pray you’ve been productive in planning out the end of your year. As for me, I’ve had to deal with some upcoming realities, however, I’m beyond blessed! This week we’re going to continue with the lessons of 2019.

Before we dive too deep into this journey please keep in mind, with next week being Thanksgiving, we will not explore together Saturday, November 30th. We will resume our journeys, Saturday, December 7th. With that being said, are we ready to explore? Indulge and Enjoy!!~

“It’s all about me!” I heard this phrase yelled so often throughout my life. Most of the time, it was from my mother. (Please hold the judgment and continue reading.) As a single mother of four, my mother rarely had time for herself. I can literally only recall two times, to this day, she actually took some “me time,” and did something she wanted to do. If she wasn’t working, one of her multiple jobs, she was with me and my brothers. Between the four of us and the many friends (of ours), she took responsibility for, her hands were always full…

**Story Time**

All through grade school, my older brother and I attended the same schools. Because he is only a year older than me, our friend groups would often merge. I can remember one year in high school, my sophomore year, his junior, the school made the mistake of having my brother, me, AND all of our friends in the same gym class. Of course, we got into some trouble and we immediately were escorted to the Principal’s office. As we sat in the office, my brother wouldn’t let me or our friends talk. He just kept repeating, “Call our lawyer…” every time the Principal asked us a question.

Thank goodness for Catholic school, because I’m positive our city school district would have called the police. Our Principal knew he was referring to our mother when he said “lawyer,” and we (friends included) knew our mother would get us out of this. So, they called her on speaker. One thing we all need to know is my mom does not play!! Man… Listen… She yelled at the Principal, the gym teacher, AND us!

Once she finished, the principal pointed my brother and me out of the group instructing us to go back to class and, she’d be calling the other students’ parents. Our mom quickly replied in and frustrated, firm, direct, tone, “I will handle all of them. You all better be at that school when I get there at 3:15. If I have to come find ANY OF YOU, there will be hell to pay. Do you hear me?” We all replied in unison, “Yes Ma’am…” Before she ended the call, she said, “Now, take ya’ll a**es back to class, and I better not get another call from this school today!”

No other parents were called and we were all sitting on the school steps when she pulled up…

This story is a perfect example of my mom taking on more than she needed to. I can go on and on with stories of my mom’s selflessness, but that’s for a future journey. What I really wanted to convey with this story is, yes, my mom yelled “It’s all about me,” however, her actions showed it was never about her. To this day, though my siblings and I are grown, it’s still not all about her.

I definitely inherited this trait from my mother. BOTH OF THEM. I’m always yelling at myself to be more selfish and focus on me. In the same breath, giving any and everything I can to my family and friends. I don’t have any children of my own, yet I always have children with me. According to the camera roll on my phone, I have between 7-10 children.

So many times, within the last few years, I’ve promised myself, “It’s all about me.” This year, however, I’ve learned it’s not about me at all. No matter how many mountain tops I stand at and shout, “It’s all about me,” God’s will for my life, will always redirect my path…

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned this year is… Thy will be done. All of us on this journey are not well versed in scripture so, I will explain “Thy” translates to “Your” and “Your” refers directly to God. In other words, God’s will be done.

Now, as a reformed control freak, I will say this has been my most challenging lesson to learn… I mean, I have thrown full-blown tantrums with God, because I don’t know his plan for my life. I’ve been upset with Him. I’ve been childish towards him. I’ve even flat out disrespected him (with my actions). Yet, he still loves me.

Instead of turning his back on me, he caresses my soul saying…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

-Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

He accepts the parts of me, the world deems as broken, tattered, and useless and He tells me they’re perfect. He has welcomed me home, with open arms, every time I’ve ran away. He is the love that shines through me. He is the joy that beams from my soul. He is my heavenly Father.

This year I have grown from the defiant daughter, that refuses to obey their parents, to the mature young lady who turns to them for guidance. And, yes, I do turn to my mom and dad for guidance, have done so for years, but they don’t know my future either. So now, I address my Heavenly Father, I take heed to His direction and follow His word.

As His perfectly imperfect daughter, I thank and honor Him for never giving up on me…

You all should already know this by now, but feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE

A Love Letter (Second)

~Hey Hey! I pray this week has brought you clarity regarding the next path in your journey. (It did just that for me!) I really don’t want to talk about what happened though. I’d rather share what’s been on my heart. Ready to explore? Awesome! Indulge and Enjoy!~

Dear Future Husband,

Thank you, for an amazing night! After the week I’ve had, yesterday’s date night was a perfect surprise. I mean, there were so many roses! And what was the scent of that candle? (We definitely have to buy more of those). It’s funny to see the look on your face when the little things you do amaze me. Almost, as if you expect me to want more from you. But yet, you know me so well!

Between our work schedules, lately, we haven’t had much time to just enjoy one another’s company. A tub full of bubbles and a bottle (or two) of wine was the perfect way to do just that! Being around family and friends is always beautiful, however, I love my time spent with you and only you. You know, like when I can’t sleep. So, you hold me tight, my head on your chest, and tell me your plans for our family. I slowly start to drift to sleep, as your fingers tangle my already coiled hair…

Okay, so maybe this was just a dream. Maybe, the only joys pulling me through this week have been, my love for God, and my love for you. It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. I just need you to know, your visits in my dreams keep me grounded in preparing for our future.

Thoughts of you, fill my soul with joy beyond words. It’s as if you know just the right face to make to calm my forever racing mind. You know just how tight to hug me, to reassure my sense of security. And, you know just the right time to fill my ears, and heart, with prayers reminding me where our strength comes from.

Dreams of you balance me. They force me to remember, I will be perfectly yoked for the right man. They forced me to continue to push myself in all aspects of life. Most of all, they remind me to keep God at the center of all the things I desire, including you.

I use to believe, there was only one true love for everyone in the world, but, not anymore. What I now believe is, out of all the humans on earth, we choose the one we are most compatible with. We pray we’re choosing someone we can grow old with, in hopes of forming true love.

My handsome husband, you will not be my first love. You will not be my first kiss. You will not be the man who takes my virginity. But, what I want you to always remember is, you hold so much more than any of those men.

You are my perfect match. You are my swipe right. You are my fish out of plenty. You are the Christian I choose to mingle with. You are the One I choose to pour into, as you choose to pour into me. You are my forever love…

I love you,

Your Wife

As you’ve explored this journey, I pray, you remember how promising your future is. No matter your relationship status (single, divorced, or widowed) you’re special someone is patiently waiting for your paths to cross.

Remember to prepare yourselves for a love like no other. For a love, only God can ordain. For a love, greater than you could ever imagine!

I love y’all!

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.