Hello Fear – Beautiful. Passionate. Love.

IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!!

Yes! We have been exploring together for exactly ONE YEAR today! Man, I can’t even believe it! I mean I literally remember sitting at my desk (at work) wondering if I should even embark on this journey. I promise I’m so glad I did!

Journeying with you all has taught me so much about myself! I mean, this month last year, God revealed, I knew absolutely nothing about Alyshia-Mae. He showed me, in order to move forward, I had to look backward one last time. So, I chose to do the work! I’m still doing the work… I will forever be doing this work!

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Wow! How did I miss the significance of this month? I’m celebrating our first year together while getting settled into an entirely new state! You all journeyed with me through my first trip to Kentucky! Christmas of last year! Now, I live here!!! On top of all that, 2 years ago, on October 6th, 2017, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior! As you can see, October has been HUGE for me these last couple of years.

Prior to this realization, I use to HATE the month of October! I mean between, clowns, vampires, bats, and zombies, I felt I couldn’t leave the house without being scared out of my mind. I would make sure to be locked in my home before dark and to turn off all the lights on Halloween, to ensure no one knocks on my door. Now, I just feel free. I’m amazed at how God will use a month I dread to bring me back to life! I’m so excited to see how He reveals Himself, even further, to me in this beautiful month!

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Are y’all ready to explore on a deeper level? Throughout this last year, I’ve learned to accept all aspects of my past. With me being comfortable with, and accepting my past, it opens up an entirely deeper, more intimate level of exploring!

It’s a beautiful feeling to not fear judgment. To know who you are, in the Father. To accept your mistakes and FORGIVE YOURSELF, as you ask for forgiveness. I thank God for the person I am today, and am ecstatic to pursue Him on an even deeper level throughout this next year of journeying!

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I want to take the time out to say THANK YOU ALL!! From the ones who have been with me since Taking a Chance, to the ones who are journeying with us for the first time today, and everyone in between… I LOVE YOU!

I appreciate you, you don’t know how much it means to know I have family in 56 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. This is only the beginning! I am enthusiastic to see what this next year brings!!

Please note we will not be exploring this Saturday (10/12). I have to get some things situated here in Kentucky. We will be back to our normal schedule the following Saturday (10/19).

Stay tuned as I continue…

“Working on me- While sharing with you!”

I love y’all!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

~Hey Family! I pray you all had an amazingly blessed Thanksgiving! I must say I missed sharing with you all. Some updates about Beautiful. Passionate. Love. WE OWN OUR SITE!!! That’s right, now you can literally just type www.beautifulpassionatelove.com and start exploring! Also, I will be exploring and revamping the site so you will see some things changing… all for the better, I promise. Well, I guess we should jump right in… Indulge and enjoy. ~

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As I shared 2 weeks ago, I’m starting therapy sessions. My first session will be wrapping up when this post comes out. So, I want to take this time to talk about how I feel about making this step…

If you read my last post your probably thinking, “You seemed confident so, what happen?” Well, when I wrote that post I didn’t even have my appointment scheduled yet! I was in the process of working with a Healthcare Advocate, a program my health insurance through my job offers, to see what therapists in my area were accepting new patients. So it was more a plan than an actuality. About 3 days after that post came out my Advocate called me back and shared a therapist would be calling me shortly.

Long story short due to my work schedule and the holiday we couldn’t schedule our first session until December 1st. Why does this matter? Having a week and a half to think about the first session has created a level of anxiety that has me trying to convince myself I don’t need therapy at all… It’s funny how that happens. We know exactly what needs to be done to fulfill a part of our destiny but then fear pops up and just like that stagnation becomes okay. But why?

Why do we allow fear to keep us bound? Why does fear have the right to determine our future? Why is fear the only emotion we refuse to address? I mean we question happiness, we fight against anger, we push through sadness, even curve hunger, but when it comes to fear, we give it the keys to the car and let it drive. Then we scream “You don’t put fear in my heart…” (I know some of yall remember that phrase.) Truth moment? You fear yourself ! You won’t address your own fears, because you’re literally afraid of fear.

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Now, you all should know at this point, I only speak from a place of experience so, please don’t feel attacked or judged. Relating to what I’m talking about doesn’t make you a bad person. If anything, it means you need to do some soul searching to begin locating the root cause of your fear. It’s up to you to decide if you are ready to address your true fears and walk in your true purpose. What we offer this world is difficult to grasp when fear is our ruler.

For me, Beautiful. Passionate. Love. was fear’s eviction notice from my life. Therapy is the eviction process! But, what you may not know is sometimes evictions can take a really long time to complete. THEN, after the eviction is completed there’s the cleanup process. I say this to make it clear that there is work that has to be done. I know that therapy will have to be a consistent part of my journey for at least the next year, I have mentally made the commitment and I’m determined to see it through.

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By now, I’m probably walking out of my first session. I could be extremely satisfied with my new therapist or, I may want to punch her in the face and never go back. I am giving myself permission to feel whatever emotions I feel, however, I do not have the right to abort this mission! Regardless of how I feel, I challenge myself to schedule a second session. I’ll let you know how it went next week, but for now, tell me is fear steering you?

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Remember that everyone has a different growth schedule. I don’t grow at your pace and you don’t grow at mine. Also, the only person that can tell your story is you!

You know what to do from here! Feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section. Don’t forget to like us on Facebook!

Beautiful Passionate Love

(All new post will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.