Do You Know What Today Is?

IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!!

Yes! We have been exploring together for exactly ONE YEAR today! Man, I can’t even believe it! I mean I literally remember sitting at my desk (at work) wondering if I should even embark on this journey. I promise I’m so glad I did!

Journeying with you all has taught me so much about myself! I mean, this month last year, God revealed, I knew absolutely nothing about Alyshia-Mae. He showed me, in order to move forward, I had to look backward one last time. So, I chose to do the work! I’m still doing the work… I will forever be doing this work!

Wow! How did I miss the significance of this month? I’m celebrating our first year together while getting settled into an entirely new state! You all journeyed with me through my first trip to Kentucky! Christmas of last year! Now, I live here!!! On top of all that, 2 years ago, on October 6th, 2017, I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior! As you can see, October has been HUGE for me these last couple of years.

Prior to this realization, I use to HATE the month of October! I mean between, clowns, vampires, bats, and zombies, I felt I couldn’t leave the house without being scared out of my mind. I would make sure to be locked in my home before dark and to turn off all the lights on Halloween, to ensure no one knocks on my door. Now, I just feel free. I’m amazed at how God will use a month I dread to bring me back to life! I’m so excited to see how He reveals Himself, even further, to me in this beautiful month!

Are y’all ready to explore on a deeper level? Throughout this last year, I’ve learned to accept all aspects of my past. With me being comfortable with, and accepting my past, it opens up an entirely deeper, more intimate level of exploring!

It’s a beautiful feeling to not fear judgment. To know who you are, in the Father. To accept your mistakes and FORGIVE YOURSELF, as you ask for forgiveness. I thank God for the person I am today, and am ecstatic to pursue Him on an even deeper level throughout this next year of journeying!

I want to take the time out to say THANK YOU ALL!! From the ones who have been with me since Taking a Chance, to the ones who are journeying with us for the first time today, and everyone in between… I LOVE YOU!

I appreciate you, you don’t know how much it means to know I have family in 56 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. This is only the beginning! I am enthusiastic to see what this next year brings!!

Please note we will not be exploring this Saturday (10/12). I have to get some things situated here in Kentucky. We will be back to our normal schedule the following Saturday (10/19).

Stay tuned as I continue…

“Working on me- While sharing with you!”

I love y’all!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Photo courtesy of Google

See Ya Later

~Hey family! To immediately clear up any confusion, no, this is not the end of Beautiful. Passionate. Love. In fact, this is only the beginning! I pray this week brought you closure on obstacles out of your control. As for me… Well, keep reading and find out! Heads up, there will be no journey Saturday October 5th. Let’s explore. Indulge & Enjoy!~


For the pain you’ve caused me, I thank you. For the confusion you’ve poured into me, I appreciate you. For the embarrassment you’ve lathered me in, I honor you! For the insecurities you’ve allowed to blossom within me, I love you. 

You’ve been so meticulous in every season of my life! How could I not be in love with you? When the world was against me, you were also. When I thought I had no one on my side, you reassured me. When I just couldn’t seem to get this thing called life right, you found more chaos to throw my way. Thank you! 


See, you have molded me into the beautiful, charismatic, triumphant, woman, I am today! All of these obstacles can be seen as negative, I mean, not even a year ago, I would have called them negative myself.) But, the truth is, the pain and trauma you’ve caused me has been the best thing to have happened to me. You gave me a voice, the very voice the enemy tried to silence. 

Remember, when I moved to Georgia? Right, the worst 6 months of my life. I thought, by walking away from you, all of my fears, insecurities, and doubts would disappear. I thought life would be perfect. I was completely wrong.  So I came back home. I set a one year plan and surpassed it by 3 years.  For some strange reason, I didn’t care about not sticking to schedule.


When I moved to Georgia, I was running. Running from my mistakes. Running from my past. Running from my pain. Running from a future I didn’t want to accept. I was not only broken but shattered. And, like so many others, I thought packing up and starting over would change my outlook on life. It didn’t. 

This time is different though. As I plan a future, in a new state, surrounded by family and endless opportunities, I feel free. I don’t feel my past on my heals just waiting for an opportunity to pull me back in its darkness. I have made peace with my past! I have accepted my faults! And, I have gained closure! 

Rochester… as I drive away from you today, I don’t want to say goodbye. Goodbye is too permanent for a place holding almost all of my memories. Goodbye makes it seem like I will never see you again. Goodbye sounds like I’m still running. So no, I won’t say goodbye. What I will say is, “See Ya Later…”


Yes, family! You read that right! I am relocating and possibly driving as you are reading this!  It’s been in the works for 9 months now and I am excited yet nervous to explore my new home! 

This week, I want to remind you, your geographic location has no control over your mindset. If you are not happy with yourself in Washington, you won’t be happy with yourself in New York. Change your outlook on life before you try to pick up and start new. The last thing you want to do is bring your misery alone with you. 

Today, I challenge you. Find one thing you dislike about the way you’re living. Write it down! Now, think about how changing that one flaw will impact your future. Do you really want to change it? Cool! Write down three ways you can begin to remove this flaw. Don’t want to change it? Fine!! But stop allowing it to dictate your feelings on life!

Remember, there will be no journey Saturday October 5th!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Side Chick

~Hey Hey! How are y’all feeling? I pray this week gave you time to reflect on your past just a little. It sure did for me! I want to journey back to my past, for a moment. I’m sure this title has some of you judging me, already. I’m not surprised, though. What I will say is, to anyone who may unfollow Beautiful. Passionate. Love. after reading this… I’m praying for you! Ready to explore? Perfect! Indulge & Enjoy!~

I take pleasure in being your late-night desire… The one on your mind, while you’re lying next to her. The one you text, when everything else in your life is going wrong. The one who receives, “Good Morning Beautiful,” as soon as you make it to your car.

Actually, that was our, “coast is clear” message. Do you remember? How I knew I could call and text, as much as I wanted, without worrying about getting caught. Send as many provocative pictures as I felt like, without you having to run to the bathroom.

Come on… don’t act like it didn’t happen! You couldn’t wait for Monday’s to come, and you dreaded Fridays… Two days with little to no communication with me drove you insane. I mean, you would literally sneak away in the middle of the night just to lay up under me, and I was always down. As long as you remembered to make it home on time come morning.

You hated, I wouldn’t fight for you. You couldn’t understand why I was so comfortable with you going home to her. You wanted the drama, the emotion. You wanted me to show you passion, more than just in the bedroom. You wanted me to actually want you, even though you didn’t want me. That, I just couldn’t give you…

Judgement… Judgement… Judgement! I literally feel y’all thoughts right now. Honestly, I’m feeling a little defensive… Like, I’m supposed to list all the reasons I’m still a good person. Say things like, “I’m not a homewrecker,” and justify it by saying “I never wanted him to leave her.

Well, guess what… I’m not going to say any of that! So, if you feel some type of way FEEL IT!! This platform is all about transparency! And, I know, there are other women, men even, who are dealing with or have dealt with this before. Therefore, WE’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT!

Full transparency… Yes, I’ve played the role of a Side Chick. Honestly, I’ve done it too many times in my 27 years of living. Am I proud of it? Not at all. Do I regret it? I regret being the reason another woman is hurt, or feels insecure in her relationship. However, I do not, any longer, regret my actions. (Before anyone comes at me about this statement, please, go back and read Regret, Why?).

At the time, I was content and confident playing this role, I genuinely felt this was my purpose in life (relationship-wise). I didn’t feel I deserved to be someone’s wife, the only woman they were committed to. My self-esteem was so low, I wrote off my future.

Being real, I was afraid of commitment. It was easier to deal with a man already committed because he can’t expect much from me, right? So, he wants to be the only man I sleep with… I’m cool with that! I don’t do the whole overlapping partners thing anyways. It’ll be the whole, “When I’m with you, I’m with and when I’m not, I’m not,” type deal, right?

Little did I know, I wasn’t creating soul ties with just him, but with her as well! I would lay in bed at night and wonder if she knew he was gone… Wonder if she knew he was cheating… Is she hurt…? Is she cheating…? What will I say to her when she finds out? How can I comfort her?

Sounds crazy right? I’m lying in bed next to her man and all I can think about is her and her feelings. That’s when I realized something had to change within me. So I did the work… I started asking questions to figure out why all my life I never felt like “wife” should be my title. Once I got that answer I dug even deeper. Why don’t I feel like I should be someone’s number one? That answer made me dig even deeper! Why do I hate me…

If you’ve been exploring with me for a while, then you know, most of these questions have already been answered. It took me years to realize my potential and beauty. I mean, I didn’t stop hating myself, until may-ish of last year. And, I didn’t fully realize my beauty until late last year. I battled myself, internally, for at least 21 years of my life, before I finally got it right!

To be clear… I no longer partake in this behavior, nor do I encourage it! As mentioned in our introduction, this is exploring my past.

Everyone won’t be able to relate to this journey, and that’s okay. Guess what though! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has something in their past, they’re ashamed/embarrassed of. For me, this was one of mine. It’s easy to bury these moments, and pretend they never happened. But what was the point of going through it, if you’re not going to share the lesson with someone else?

I love y’all!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Battle of the Sexes

~ What’s new B.P.L. family? I pray this week gave you the energy boost you need to finish this month strong! As for me? Well, this week I was feeling pretty poetic so I want to share this piece I started. It’s been a while since I’ve done poetry, I think I like where I’m going with it though! Well, let’s dive in! Indulge and Enjoy!~

Battle of the Sexes

He didn’t fight for me…

He walked away…

He didn’t come back for me…

He walked away, chose not to stay…

She took care of me…

She sacrificed so much…

She instilled values in me…

She sacrificed so much, no financial crutch…

She guided me…

I’m lost…

She fed me…

I’m empty…

He prayed for me…

I’m desperate…

He searched for me…

I’m right here…

She disciplined me…

He wasn’t there…

She, at times, put too much on me…

He’s unaware…

I love them both…

My heart will forever be theirs…

I finally see growth…

My destiny’s looking brighter…

I’m not exactly sure why all of this was stirring within me this week. I’ve been hard on myself lately. Forcing myself to not look back on decisions I’ve made with my best interest in mind. I know it’s easy to blame your decisions on your childhood.

“My Dad wasn’t in my life…”

“My relationship with my Mom is strenuous or desiccating…”

“I’ve always been the ‘black sheep’ of the family…”

Allow me to be very clear, THERE IS NO EXCUSE, GRAND ENOUGH, TO GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO ABANDON YOUR DESTINY.

Stop believing the hype media tells you, regarding being a product of your environment. Stop forcing yourself to conform to the way of the world. You don’t fit in? Awesome, your destiny calls for you to stand out. Wear your differences proudly! Stand tall in the very features the world tells you are flaws. If it makes you happy, laugh! Who cares if you’re the only one laughing?

Let’s do this transparency thing we love so much. If you’ve been exploring with me since the beginning, then you know my father wasn’t in my life until about 10 years ago. You also know, a little bit, about my relationship with my mother (it’s been tough).

According to media/stereotypes, I should be a single mother with multiple children and the number of “baby daddies” to match. I should hate the world and be full of revenge and regret. Beautiful. Passionate. Love. shouldn’t exist. Well, it could exist, but I’m not supposed to be the author. Why? Because it’s too positive for what the world expects me to be. Guess what though. Next month will be a year since we’ve been exploring together!

I defy the odds of my upbringing on a daily basis and I will continue to do so. I used to hate being so different, not fitting the mold. I was “too saved” for my unsaved friends, and “not saved enough” for my saved friends. Not edgy enough for my “hood friends,” and “too edgy” for my suburban friends. Instead of changing me, I changed my environment. The ones who thought I wasn’t good enough for them were right. So, I let them go. LOOK AT ME NOW!

I’ve said all this to say, every experience you’ve been through is what makes you who you are today. If you genuinely don’t like who you are, figure out why and make the needed changes. However, if you don’t like who you are because you’re different… I pray a season of seclusion surrounds you, that you may not only learn to love who you are but also, see how your differences apply to your destiny. I love yall!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Just One Of Them Days

~Beautiful People! Goodness, I’ve missed you all! I pray this week exposed a flaw in you, that once corrected will thrust you into your purpose! I pray when this flaw is revealed to you, you have a moment of praise, the pieces of your future align! Pretty specific, huh? Well, ya’ll should know by now, I only talk about what I know! So, are we ready to explore? Indulge & Enjoy!!~

Okay, so let’s be real, self-reflection and self-improvement aren’t always fun. These last two weeks have been very difficult. Guess what though. I MADE IT! Yes, there were several bumps in the road, and I would have to say Wednesday contained the largest bump of them all. I mean, keeping transparency, sadness confound me in all aspects of life.

Long story long, I was very short, conversation wise, with everyone at work for the entire day. Halfway through, an incident concerning a client arose, forcing me to have no choice but to work with a coworker. Not a problem, we’ll just resolve the client’s issue and move on with our workday, right? Psh, I wish!

So, My coworker starts asking me questions, pertaining to the client. And then, her Team Lead jumped in, in an attempt to assist us. Also, her colleague chimes in. Not a problem, we all have one goal in mind, operation “Assist the Client” is in full effect. That is until my emotions took over, and I unnecessarily felt overwhelmed and attacked.

Because I already knew I was in a very emotional space, I decided to walk away from the conversation entirely. The problem with walking away, for me is, I wear ALL of my emotions on my face. Everyone can tell when I’m high or low emotionally (I’m working on changing this).

Wrapping up this story, as I walked away, I heard one of the three women express her opinion of me having a bad attitude. While she’s most certainly entitled to her opinion, I became even more frustrated in knowing my sadness was being translated into anger.

So now I feel the need to explain myself. I type up a message to the original person I was speaking with, apologizing if the interaction was disrespectful. I also, expressed, I was having a really rough day emotionally. She didn’t respond…

My day became even more difficult, resulting in me crying, twice, in the middle of my workday. After talking with my manager, who understood I was just having a one-off day. I realized one of my greatest flaws is the need to explain myself.

You see, the desire to want to over-explain oneself often comes from the desire of wanting to be liked by everyone. (Guilty!) Wanting to be liked by everyone, often comes from a spirit of rejection. (Also guilty!) And, the spirit of rejection usually stems from low self-esteem. (Hold up! This one isn’t me! Not anymore at least!!)

I’ve said it before, insecurities never fully go away! So, yes, while I am fully aware of how beautiful and valuable I am to the world, I will still have days or moments throughout a day where I won’t be so sure of either. This doesn’t mean I have low self-esteem, it simply means I’m having a rough day. And, I don’t have to explain why I’m having a rough day!

Now, your rough days do not give you permission to ruin the days of those around you. There are three things I did correctly Wednesday, recognized I was having a rough day and distance myself from everyone. Also, in my unnecessary explanation, I apologized, realizing I may have come across disrespectful. Truth, I didn’t have to apologize…

As life happens, these days will arise. Remember, the only person you owe anything to is YOURSELF!

Give yourself time…

Give yourself attention…

Give yourself love…

Give yourself space…

Give permission to feel how you feel…

But, when its all said and done, brush yourself off and remember YOUR VALUE!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.