It’s A Wrap!

~Family!!! This is our last journey of 2019! Can you believe it? Neither can I! I pray this year has taught you to be okay with constant growth! As for me, well, let’s just say growth looks good on me!

Because it’s our last journey of the year, I want to share with you all some of my affirmations, used to keep me focused throughout the year. From there, we will go, where ever this journey leads us! Ready to explore? Indulge and Enjoy!~

Lift up your head, young one… You’re a queen…

Smile, beautiful, your kingdom is watching…

It’s okay love, tomorrow’s a new day…

You’re so beautiful…

You’re destined to be a wife…

You’re a masterpiece…

The daughter of a King…

This year, like any other year, was filled with a lot of ups and downs. The most frustrating part was, not knowing how to explain my low moments to the people around me. I was closed off and reserved, with relationships that may have been beneficial to my growth. Also, there were several moments this year that left me feeling empty.

With all this being said, 2019 was an amazing year of growth for me. I mean, I removed useless titles from my life such as “Side Chick” and I added valuable ones such as “The daughter of a King…” “Wife in the making…” and “Beautifully melinated queen!” I learned to remove the opinions, of the world from my life, and create my own.

I‘ve learned to love myself for not just who I am, but also who I’m becoming!

So, there was about a good month, month and a half, where every day I was asking myself, “Who are you?” It was legit crazy!! My actions seemed foreign to me. I found myself going out of my way, showing random acts of kindness to people I’d never seen before (and it felt great!!). I soon realized, this is who I am, just never felt safe enough to show it. The comfort I found, almost changed to fear when I moved late within the year.

Now, as most of you know already, I‘ve moved to another state. Everything familiar has been stripped from me. Yes, I have loads of family here, I don’t feel like I’m vibing with them the way I wished to, though. They’re awesome! I’m just not “comfortable” yet, I guess… So do I sit around and mope, or force myself out of my comfort-zone? (Guess which one I chose.)

I also started a new job! I mean, what an amazing opportunity, occurring in what I thought was an attack from the enemy! What threw me for a complete loop was, during the loss of my previous job, I had no worries about what God was doing in my life. I was content and confident in His ability to guide me to the jobs I, very much needed and desired. Guess what, he did just that!

Which brings me to my final reflection! My relationship with God! Man oh, man! I mean the relationship I have with the Father is one that I’ve only dreamt of. We laugh together daily. When I cry He wipes my tears and reminds me of the plans he has for my life. He tells me about my future husband, and the joys I will receive if I continue to serve Him. He opens doors I had never imagined before. And, He never gives up on me, even when I’ve given up on myself.

Well, there you have it! Just an overview of my 2019! I must say, I’m amazed to see what’s in store for 2020. I have to share some news with you before I go…

For the last year and 2 months, we have mainly used Beautiful. Passionate. Love. To focus on “The Journey to Discovering Me.” While this is a never-ending journey, it’s time for us to step back and look at other trails.

Starting in 2020, we won’t focus as much on the past, as we will the present and future. I’m so excited to share new journeys with you guys!

We will not be exploring together on 01/04/2020. Mentally, I just need a quick break. We well, come back together on 01/11/2020 for a new year and new sound!

Have fun ushering in the New Year! And, please, I beg you all, be safe and responsible!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Perception

~What’s up y’all? I pray this week allowed you to see yourself from the viewpoint of someone else. So often, we create an unrealistic view, in our heads, of how others see us. We have to remember, the way we see ourselves is not how others see us. Also, it’s not right (nor is it possible), for us to impose our opinions, of ourselves, on to our peers.

Before we get started, I just want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas! Aside from all the amazingly wonderful gifts you receive, remember why we celebrate this season. Anywho, are you ready to explore? Perfect, let’s dive in. Indulge and Enjoy!~

I remember applying for my first job. My freshman year was coming to an end, and let’s just say I wasn’t on my best behavior. If you’ve been exploring with me, then you know from previous journeys, I wasn’t the sweetest in grade school. But, at 14 this was my first job, and of course, it was my first list of requirements.

So, I’m ending my first year of high school, and my mom is trying her best to keep me out of “trouble,” throughout the summer (easier said than done). At the time, there was a program called Summer of Opportunities, for the youth to get their feet wet with employment while school is out.

There were limited spaces, an extensive application process, and a lengthy hiring advancement. One requirement was a letter of recommendation. I had no prior bosses, and at 14, any adult I knew was family (which they specifically told us we couldn’t use). So who do I ask? Well, even on my worst behavior, a couple of teachers took an interest in me and drew me close to them.

One of the women who played a major impact in high school, (she continues to play a role in my life), was my history teacher. She’s like an Aunt… you know, the one that’s stern and refuses to allow you to “play yourself,” yet, you love hanging around her (even if it means assisting her with grading papers.)

Terrified, I asked her to write a letter of recommendation, on my behalf, knowing it would be tough to find good characteristics to speak about. To my surprise, she agreed without hesitation. The next day, she placed a sealed envelope in my hand, labeled “Alyshia-Mae’s letter of recommendation.”

YOU MEAN I CAN’T READ WHAT SHE WROTE!? I just knew I wouldn’t be getting this job. I didn’t have anyone else I could turn to, so I decided it was best to just submit her letter. A couple of weeks later, I received a letter from the city I lived in (also the city the program was through). Bam! I had a summer job to look forward to! I was elated!

Of course, I went to school the next day proud, and ready to share the news. Approaching the teacher that had written my recommendation, she must have seen the joy on my face. Right away she smiled and said, “You got the job!”

I confirmed and thanked her for the letter. Then I asked, why was she so confident I would be accepted. Smiling the entire time she said, “ You’re an intelligent, beautiful, poised, young woman. I never doubted your ability to success…”

Poise

/poiz\

Noun

Graceful and elegant bearing in a person.

I had never even heard the word poise before this conversation. If I did, it definitely wasn’t in correlation to me and my appearance. How did she see me as poise?

According to me, I was average, intelligence wise, and I lacked beauty. I was a young woman though. She got that part right.

So did she lie? To me, at that moment, she definitely lied! Now, over 10 years later, I realize she was giving HER perception of me. Mine nor anyone else’s mattered.

Yes, sometimes, my perception of me won’t align with my peers, family, and/or friends (quite often actually). This is completely fine! My goal… is to make sure I have no, well, very few, negative perceptions in the world!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Something Different

~Hey Family! I pray this week has shown you just a glimpse of what your 2020 will look like! As for me, it’s safe to say I’m beyond excited to see what next year will bring!!

This week, I want to explore the many changes that took place in my life. And, of course, I’ll share how I feel about them and what they’ve taught me. Ready to explore? Let’s dive in! Indulge and Enjoy!!

Last week, I may have (intentionally) forgot to tell y’all I quit my job. After a year and 7 months, it was time to say goodbye. Did I want to? No. I didn’t have much of a choice though. My contract was ending December 20th and if I didn’t find a new job soon, I would be standing in the unemployment line.

So I had two job offers, I ended up going with the one I felt God had been guiding me to and, MAN!! When I tell you I am so impressed with this company!! For obvious reasons, mainly privacy and protection, I can’t give you guys the name of my new employer, however, I want to take this time to remind you all to never stop trusting God!

Lately, I’ve been paying close attention to the opinions of others. Not necessarily their opinion of me, (because y’all know I don’t care what people think about me) I do pay attention to what they think about people, situations and events surrounding us.

This week, I started my new position and my observation unintentionally poured into my peers. I realized how free everyone is to be themselves WITHOUT JUDGMENT. I mean not even the slightest hint of judgment! It was an amazing feeling.

Then, I started thinking about everyone I’ve encountered since moving here… So far, I haven’t witnessed nor have I experienced any judgment. Now, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page, I’m talking about judgment in the negative sense. (Gossip, slander, belittling, degrading conversations.)

Yes, people here share their opinion, even when not warranted. And, no, everyone doesn’t always get along. But, I’ve noticed a different level of respect here. I’ve noticed, people’s first instinct here is not to spread whatever you shared with them to the world. People know how to provide constructive criticism without destroying one’s confidence.

I’ve noticed a level of respect, I wish I saw more of back home. Here, we focus more on what’s right in our lives, rather than what’s wrong. We start conversations with laughter and love before we dive into “vent” mode. We end phone calls with, “I love you,” no matter how many times we’ve spoken to one another (this took some getting used to).

There’s a level of protection, I feel here, I wish I felt back home. My siblings genuinely care about how I’m adapting to life here. Family reaches out just because. If they haven’t seen or heard from me within a reasonable time, they become a little uneased.

My siblings desire to bond with me! Sometimes, at home, I felt like a social outcast. Like nothing I did was good enough for my siblings to want to “chill”. Here me just being me is enough!

And, this is the best part! My siblings encourage me to build relationships with their spouses/significant others!!! Back home, my brothers definitely weren’t a fan of this (even though my niece’s mom and I became, and still are, the best of friends).

I’ve always been big on family. And I love my family back home. I miss them daily. I just wish they would express, they missed me a little too…

Living here is definitely a learning experience. Sometimes even a culture shock, if I’m being completely honest. Thanksgiving was crazy for me because I’m used to only being around 5-7 people. So, to be in a house full of what felt like 50+ people (all family), I definitely became overwhelmed at one point.

I went to my car, called my mom, and cried for about 5 minutes. Then I put my big girl pants on, went back in there and genuinely enjoyed my family and their dysfunction.

Yes, they have their own dynamics and dysfunction, just as my family back home does. So I want to end this by saying this…

Change isn’t always bad. Different isn’t always wrong. New isn’t always fun. And, old isn’t always trash.

Learn to love what you have for what it is. This doesn’t mean you have to tolerate anything that disrupts your peace, it simply means accepting and reacting accordingly.

Thank you for exploring with me! I really love y’all!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE.

Staying True

~Happy December Family!!! It’s the last month of the year! I pray this month provides you with closure on the good, the bad, and the ugly of this year. As for me, well I’m praying the same prayer for myself!

This week, I want to explore Beautiful. Passionate. Love.! This won’t be a super long journey, however, I feel inclined to address a few things moving into 2020. Ready to explore? Let’s dive in… Indulge and Enjoy!!~

First, I want to say this space is my baby! Our journeys are therapy for me. One thing I’ve realized, within the last few weeks is, once I started sharing my faith, and allowing God to be visible on our journeys, I’ve lost a lot of views. So, I want to address this…

Beautiful. Passionate. Love. exist because God gave me a voice and a platform. When we first started exploring, I was afraid to openly discuss my faith because I wanted this to be a safe/free environment for everyone. I realized, within our first year together, if I continue to exclude my faith I would lose my transparency…

Yes, as you know, I’ve made a multitude of mistakes throughout my life, and continue to make mistakes daily (we’re all human). We all need something to give us strength from day today. For me, it’s my faith. Without my faith, I am no one. Without my faith I am voiceless.

I said all of this to say… MY FAITH is not leaving this journey!! I love and respect all of you, however, this space was created on transparency and me keeping it real. I will never intentionally disrespect anyone’s religious beliefs, but I will also never intentionally compromise my own.

Some of you may be asking, “Why is she saying this?” Well, mainly it’s because God had been dealing with me, this week. Because my views have been low I thought about embellishing our journeys to make them more “interesting.”

As I write this, I’m so glad I choose not to do so. Transparency… will remain key in our journeys. Honesty… will continue to lead us on our journeys. Committed… I will remain to Beautiful. Passionate. Love.! Numbers… will never define this space…

Sometimes, you have to remind yourself of your why. I think this week’s journey is more for me than it is you. You see, when you compromise your character for attention (good or bad), it changes you.

Have you ever thought about how life-altering lies are? I mean, once you tell a lie, you have to keep up that story, in order to convince everyone. Think about it, if I tell you I’m sad with a huge smile on my face, you aren’t even going to ask what’s wrong. But, if I’m crying when I say it, you’re automatically intrigued to want to know more.

Now that you’re intrigued, if I don’t have a captivating story to tell you, you won’t care. So, I make up one to tell you… Now, I have to make sure to tell everyone around me the same story and pray none fact checks the details.

I don’t know about you, but lying or embellishing is too much work for me. I’d rather be myself and attract genuine, loving, people who deserve my time and energy.

This week I’ve come to realize, now more than ever…

I’M ENOUGH JUST AS I AM!

&

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE!!

As always, feel free to ask questions and/or leave feedback in the comments section.

(All new journeys will be uploaded Saturdays by 12:30 EST)

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am PASSIONATE. I will LOVE